grief and loss

What this year has in store...

grief in the energy field
This summer was full of loss and full of life or maybe just full of living. My aunt died in July and two weeks later my cousin passed away. I traveled to Minnesota once by car and once by plane. Seeing the landscape shift and reality shifted from here and not. In Minnesota I was engulfed in my huge extended family. It was surreal how my busy calendar of days all of a sudden became open as travel plans, wakes, funerals took place. It seemed like many people had significant loss this year. It made me aware of how much shifts in our reality with a loss as well as with our energy field. Here’s some of what I’ve been thinking about how grief can show up in the chakras.

A death of someone we care about can leave us feeling wobbly and bring up feelings of not being tethered to life on this planet or not feeling like one’s home is safe or comforting. It may leave us questioning the culture we were raised with. This shows up in the first chakra or root chakra.

 

We may notice feeling a sense of tamping down our life force as a way to align with the deceased. For example, not joining in activities or not returning calls or emails who in the past we would enjoy to engage with. Or we find ourselves taking more risks as a way to prove we really are living – skydiving, being promiscuous, experimenting with drugs or consuming more alcohol. Also creativity coming out with a more weighted meaning. This shows up in the second chakra or sacral chakra.

 

We may experience a dulling of the sense of personal autonomy, lack of appetite, a clenching in the stomach, anxiety in midsection and lack of mental clarity. We may also question who we are if our loved ones are not here. I was 29  when my father died and I still felt like somehow orphaned by his death, despite living states away for years. This shows up in the third chakra or solar plexus.

 

We may begin putting more weight on current relationships, demanding closeness from family members or partners, either by intimacy or by wanting to be in close proximity of loved ones. It may feel like we can’t get a full breath. Emotions may feel like they pinball all over the place and often sadness is lurking behind other feelings. It can be experienced as a reevaluation of relationships or a not wanting to socialize. This shows up in the fourth chakra or heart chakra.

 

Not eating or eating without tasting, and feeling like nothing can satiate. Grief can come out with a slowing down of how fast one speaks or how loud. The volume of voice can also be experienced as out of synch with reality, either speaking too quietly (pulling others in) or loudly (pushing others away). This shows up in the fifth chakra or throat chakra.

 

Confusion, depressed thoughts, a checking out of current reality to spend time with the deceased person in our thoughts, a sense of time slipping, forgetfulness. We are often caught in a circle of reevaluation of how time is spent and with whom. Everything in life can feel so immense. The pacing of one’s life in general seems off. This shows up in the six chakra or third eye.

 

Anger or disillusionment with a higher power or the purpose of one’s life. Overwhelm of having to continue living on this earthly plane without our loved one. This shows up in the seventh chakra or crown chakra.

 

When we experience the death of a loved one, there is a rip in the energetic field. This tear allows sensations of life feeling surreal as well as not feeling protected come closer in. Some deaths bring in a sense of relief or guilt, the person is no longer suffering or they are no longer causing suffering. 

 

How can we give ourselves what we need when it feels we are barely staying above water?

Remember no one grieves in the same way, just because your sibling isn’t a wreck like you might feel you are, doesn’t mean they are doing it better or worse than you are. It can be helpful to give space, time and the gift of support.

 

In the first chakra finding a space one is comfortable in and allowing that to build. That may be a park or a coffee shop. In the second chakra allowing the pause to come in with help to reduce the destructiveness that rears up. Any outlet of creativity can be helpful – sometimes choosing one that we aren’t familiar with or one that is tactile – clay, oil pastels, knitting, with the understanding we’re not doing this for a masterpiece. Tactile arts can be helpful because they help ground and keep us in this reality. In the third chakra simply placing a hand over the 3rd chakra (right below where the ribs open up) can help with bringing stability to the chakra. For the 4th chakra we’re wanting to not try to harness our emotions, basically every one of them is invited to the table. Talking with a therapist or joining a grief group can provide a safe space to sort through all that’s rolling about. In the 5th chakra we can write notes / sing / talk to the person who died or if feeling vulnerable in this area can wear scarfs / jewelry to offer protection. In the sixth chakra and seventh chakra being open to anything that shows up and doing our best not to judge. For example when feeling anger at a higher spirit or situation we can notice the emotion (not talk ourselves out of the emotion) and actually feel that emotion. Sometimes we judge that we’re feeling angry or bypass the emotion by trying to focus on how grateful we should be for our life when someone we cared about is no longer here. That gratitude is not helpful for us when we are addressing the feeling. Grief can often leave us feeling like we are alone and carrying the burden ourselves, but there are friends, family and therapists out there willing to be a support.

February 1st, my rates will be: Energy Healing (in person or distance) $100, Reiki Session $100, Group Chakra Alignment $100, Intuitive Impression $220. If you'd like to schedule, you can find my scheduler here.

 

 

Celebrating life as a form of grieving

I spent a decade living in New Mexico and while living there I loved fall the best. Smelling chile roasting outside of grocery stores, having fun dressing up for Halloween with friends and getting to celebrate Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). I had never heard of Dia de los Muertos until I lived there. This Mexican holiday celebrates those who have died. It is believed that the veil between the living and those who have passed is thinner at this time of year. During this holiday, celebrated on November 1st & 2nd, people decorate cemeteries, build altars to their loved ones by decorating sugar skulls, put out food and drink favored by the deceased, and in general celebrate their loved one’s life. I am particularly fond of this as I feel like it is an active way to grieve.

Often when someone we love dies, we feel like our energy field has a huge rip in it and a common reaction is to shut down or freeze. Having an active way to grieve feels like a way to bring movement back when we have shut down. Although we can communicate and connect in with the deceased any time, this is a way to focus and treasure their impact on us.

This year I’ve decided to host an event for Day of the Dead with an opportunity to decorate a sugar skull for your loved one as well as time to meditate and connect in with a deceased family member or friend. If this sounds like something you’d like to do as a way to honor and celebrate your loved one, more details can be found here.

Circle ~ ongoing energy meetup

Energetic Boundaries ~ November 12th 6:30 - 8 PM

Have you been saying yes to activities or people when later you wonder, what was I thinking? Feeling a bit off track in your life in regards to the direction you want to be heading? Do you know where your energy field begins and ends? Come join with others to explore how to recognize boundaries for your energetic field. We will try different experiments to define how we feel our energy field as well as partake in a healing meditation around solidifying healthy boundaries. To register, click here.

Lastly if you'd like to read about another energy practitioner's take on energy vampires you can check it out here. Becky Holtzman breaks down this concept and gives some tips for taking care of one's self.

Take care,

Kim


Grief & Loss

grief and loss

I was asked by Little Mended Hearts of Charlottesville to lead a meditation for parents whose children had passed away as a result of a congenital heart condition. It was an honor to help provide a container for people to share their grief and their love for their angel warrior. I was reminded of how important it is to be able to share your story with others who understand and how we can connect with our loved one through our heart connection. Thanks to Little Mended Hearts of Charlottesville for all they do to support families with heart conditions. 

Disconnect from Work

Our energy bodies take on and carry around stuff that's not helpful to us and get pulled or pushed out of center just like physically our bodies take on and hold many of the tensions of day to day life. This is one of the reasons why you might consider regular energy healing. As a way of maintaining clear and aligned energies, instead of waiting until there's so much gunk and everything's so off kilter, you will be a brighter you all the time. A change of seasons is a great marker for you to schedule some energy healing especially since the energies of the seasons change, too.

 

We'd also like to welcome you to our 2nd Community Healing, this one is focusing on Grief and Loss. Wednesday, November 2nd from 6:30 PM - 8:00 PM at Ix Art Park. More details here.

 

Kim's Thoughts  



Ever had one of those experiences where you’re supposed to be doing something fun with someone, maybe going to hike, out to eat, seeing a show and they can’t seem to stop checking their phone or maybe you can’t? I was recently talking to a friend about how to disconnect from work and then be present for our families. Here’s what I’ve come up with from an energetic perspective. 

Five ways to shift your energy from work to play

1) Change your clothes. This may seem like it’s not a big deal, but if you come home from work and change your clothes, instead of starting to make dinner or diving into other tasks, you will experience a difference. I challenge you to try it to see what you think. I did this when I worked a very stressful job and energetically could feel like I was shifting from work persona to weekend persona.

2) Clear your field. You can do this with water either by stopping in the restroom before you leave work and washing your hands – envision an egg shape around you and filling it with white light. If you work in a very stressful environment or feel like you pick up other people’s energy or stress, I’d recommend taking a shower or a bath when you get home. You will be intending the water to be clearing your field, if taking a bath also throw in some Epsom salt. If you work from home, putting away your work items and clearing the space with a chime or bell can prepare it for the next day. You can also use essential oils to clear your field or to signify a shift from working to relaxing. If you want to invigorate or uplift your field, I’d recommend peppermint or orange. Put a few drops in a spray bottle and use in your office or car. You will be using the scents to signify the shift.  

 

3) Clear your desk – when I was working in HIV Case Management we had a co-worker we jokingly called “Boundaries Gone Bad” because she had very rigid boundaries about almost everything. Joking aside, one of her boundaries that I found to be very helpful was that at 4:45 PM on the dot, she would begin to clear off her desk, put her files away, get what she needed for the next day in order. She would not start an intake or a yearly assessment or make a call to social security; she would clean up so that she would be able to walk away from her desk exactly at 5 PM. I encourage you to enforce a rigid boundary whenever your workday ends. 

 

 

4) Clear your mind. This can be done through meditating, drawing, stepping outside and walking or taking a yoga class on your lunch break. Do something to engage both sides of your brain. At the start of the week 

take 15 minutes and do a mind dump. This is basically where you write down everything you need to do for your job, family, house, etc. Then you know all your to do’s are down on paper and can be addressed accordingly. It frees up more space for your brain to be creative. 

 

5) Work less. There has been research done about how folks who work less hours and have more time for their hobbies are actually more productive. Check out this interesting article about what happened when a owner moved his company to a 5 hour workday. 

Elizabeth's Thoughts


Work comes in such a wide variety of shapes and sizes and textures. Some of my work is hands on bodies. Some of my work is by phone from the comfort of my home desk. I love that I get to connect and explore with amazing beings of all sorts. But no matter how much I love my work, I do need some separation between work and the rest of my life. So how exactly do I do that?  ~ Read more